It's just like the Real World with babies
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
