mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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