just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
