Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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