Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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