sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
