i would punch a child for taco bell
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
