we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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