Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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