if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
