I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
