Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
