we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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