Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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