i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
