he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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