Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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