All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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