This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
