They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize