My friends, they love my intelligence
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
