I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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