no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
