I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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