he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
