I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
