Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
