remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
