youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
it's great music for shaving your balls
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
