the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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