i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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