At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
