Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
