Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Randomize
