dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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