Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It's never too late to be topless.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize