she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
