I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
