When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
