soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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