guys are only as good as the porn they watch
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
