This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
