hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
