my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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