nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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