is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Screwed.edu
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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