he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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