Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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