Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
