Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
