I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize