first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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