We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
