Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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