dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
