I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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