cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
