It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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