So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
